Christopher Barnes – 2 poems 

​Lord Byron Downloads A Zombie Movie

 

When to their                    hughies on a fuddled gale,

Shall call my spirit,           dark Guinness-tinged, pugilistic,

When, pois’d                    he rip-tides thick speech,

Or, dark in mist                 marks the spot before an unfermented head.

Oh! May my shade’s        giddy-pluck veins drain

To mark the spot              into a jotted fragment, a pub-crawl swig alone.

No lenghthen’d scroll       if that with bed-readiness this liver has glued

My epitaph shall be          with lurk-remembered charms        

If that                                only bugger-all shall lucidify

Oh! May no other             gaffes be misremembered. 

 

Glossary of slang: Hughie – Vomits.

 

🍃

 


Lord Byron Attends A Transvestite Party

 

One shade                   of forget-me-not dusts the eyes

   Had half impair’d       splotch on a rag doll cheek

Which waves                in a shagadelic hair-piece, nuzzling

   Or softly lightens        the boom-ting polkadot embodiment

Where thoughts            and amyl orbit the venturesome

   How pure                   this backdoor man daylights as Miss Salacia

 

 🍃

 

In 1998, Christopher Barnes won a Northern Arts writers award.  In July 2000 he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology ‘Titles Are Bitches’ and at Christmas 2001 he debuted at Newcastle’s famous Morden Tower doing a reading of his poems.  Each year he reads for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and he partakes in workshops. In 2005, Christopher saw the publication of his collection LOVEBITES published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh.

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